We don't have to drown in the shame of it any longer.If you've been 'afraid to go there' through talk therapy (CBT) or EMDR, please believe me when I say it's probably not as bad as you imagine and definitely not as bad as whatever trauma you lived through in the first place. 

You deserve to heal.

My therapist calls 'should' a 'church word.' She says we go around 'shoulding' ourselves all the time, and it has an unhealthy impact on our subconscious, because by saying we should be doing something that we don't want to do, or that isn't in our best interests, maybe because of some misplaced desire to be polite, we are telling our subconscious that our needs come last.